Funny Fic Quotes

Because I figured we all need a laugh, I challenge people to look into a Matrix fic anywhere and pull out what they think was the funniest/silliest/batshit/wtf/lol line they could find. Here's mine!

“He left me!” she sobbed into her pillow…. “Jason dumped me!”she screamed making you feel a bit….sad you ran over to her and put your arms around her….

“awww Niobe!”you said rocking her back and forward ash she sobbed into your shoulder hysterically

“he…he said that I seemed to love morpehus more than him!” she said crying even more…

“well isn’t that true?”you said raising your eyebrows at her…

“well yes but he wasn’t supposed to know that..”she said blushing…

Now get some quotes! It'll be the zaniest meme ever!
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly

Because everyone knows that canon characters aren't complete without ultra-perfect younger siblings!

Story Or Series Title: Intertwining Worlds
Fandom: Matrix
Culprit Author's Name: Japan-Chick
Full Name (plus titles if any): Nicky aka The Hacker Sky
Full Species(es): Human (so far)
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Short black hair"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Blue eyes that had a license to kill"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: none
Special Possessions (if any): none
Annoying Origin: The One's mother's womb.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's Neo's kid sister who learned everything about hacking from him and has been looking for him ever since he disappeared a month ago.
Annoying Special Abilities: t3h 1nf4m0u5 l337 h4xx0r who "could hack anything and everything."
Other Annoying Traits: Agents are following her, and she knows they're not registered with any police, FBI, or CIA station in the world. She also has recurring dreams about the real world and draws pictures about it.
Best Line: Nicky was always a rather gal for black, gothic much to herself. With blue eyes that had a license to kill, and short black hair. Now 18 and 5’7, she takes Kong fu classes, and enjoys night walks. Romantic candlelight dinners, cuddling by the fireplace, long walks on the beach...

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: Gah. It's so short...
Answering the phoneCollapse )

*skip, skip, skip*

Let's meet Morpheus! Or, as we call him in Sue-ville, Morpheous.Collapse )

*skip, skip, skip*

Red or Blue?Collapse )

And that's the end of the chapter. But don't worry kids! I'm sure Neo, Trinity and Co. will come back and pull her out! She has to be unplugged. She's a Sue.
  • Current Mood
    half asleep
take shelter
  • dives

You know, Neo doesn't need that stupid Trinity to love—he needs someone way more perfect.

We-ll, the sad thing is that it's relatively well written—i.e., the author knows grammar, can spell (except for 'Anderson' or 'Nebuchanezzer', but even I can't spell the latter) and has some idea of plot.
Pity she's a canon-warping Mary Sue and the entire story's overly dramatic.

She's just so...damn...good. Yeesh.

Story Or Series Title: The Girl who Fell in Love with a Program at least it's not an Agent.
Fandom: Matrix
Culprit Author's Name: AGoingUnder88
Full Name (plus titles if any): Crystal
Full Species(es): Puella perfecta
Hair Color (include adjectives): "flaming". I assume this means 'red'.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "emerald-green eyes gently choked back the tears held in for so long"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: none. Other than canon in a bag at the bottom of the Hudson.
Special Possessions (if any): none.
Annoying Origin: the ninth circle of Hell.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Neo falls in love with her because she's so pure. Smith cackles evilly cos he thinks he'll get the Zion codes. Trinity acts OOC quite often when she's around, too.
Annoying Special Abilities: The ability to make me shoot myself because HER PAST IZ LIEK SO TORTURED!!1!! Making Smith speak like he's a 20s movie villain.
Other Annoying Traits: Making people kiss her feet through her goodness, saving Zion cos her mad acting skillz even fool Agent Smith, angsting ALL THE TIME because she's in love with a dude named Peter...who is the program of the title.
Oh, and rejecting Neo's lurve because it is not meant to be.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
You’re lying! Peter is too perfect to be a machine...
I can't even make fun of that. It makes fun of itself.
Now we're gonna cut loose...footloose...kick off your Sunday shoesCollapse )

Sue vows to save the worldCollapse )

Do not worry, lowly serf, for I am Crystal, and thou shalt not suffer from the agents when thou art under mine care. If thou wishest, thou may kiss my feet ingratiatingly.Collapse )
  • Current Music
    John McCain on CNN

(no subject)

Story Or Series Title: My Curiosity
CulpritAuthor's Name: Dorysblue

Full Name (plus titles if any):Sarah Carter, AKA Kat. These names are used interchangeably throughout the fic (I think the author may have been high when writing this, therefore the characteristic short term memory loss is to be expected)
Full Species(es): Poddie. But she lives in Zion and was adopted. Because its very characteristic of the Zion fleet to unplug people who cant care for themselves.
Appearance: "She had crystal blue eyes that rarely showed any hatred at all. She had a nice natural tan, and she liked to crack her toes." Well then! Thank you for telling us about your absurd habits. What is this, the personal ads for Mary Sues?

Annoying Origin:She was unplugged, and taken under the wing of Commander Carter, who took over for when Morpheus quit and married Niobe and had 2.3 children
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Smith has an extra speshul interest in her. He kidnaps her, and takes her to his little nest of lurrrrve.
Annoying Special Abilities: She attracts a pedophilic Smith.
Other Annoying Traits:Her eyes can emanate hatred Only sometimes, she's usually a docile Sue She also uses her name interchangeably with her hacker handle, which is not so much a trait as just annoying. She also has an ex with named Doomsdaddy. No wonder they broke up! It was written in his name! Foreshadowing, people!11!1

The "Plot":Kat is a poddie that is living in Zion. She wakes up one day from a horrible dream, a la Neo, and remembers its her first day as an Operator! YAYZ!11oneone!!11. She then gets kidnapped by Smith and taken to his apartment, which is seedy and ratty looking, everything that movieSmith would avoid.
Best Line:"Kat was running in a street.As you can obviously see, she's running through it with her speshul concrete cutting gloves It was cold, dark, and wet. There were only a few streetlights on and nobody else on the streets. It was just her and no one else.Would it be implied that there was no one on the street if she just said there was only her there? Oh nevermind, Sue logic But, she was running from something.or someone. She ran into a dead endWHAM! with a brown door. It was locked. Suddenly, she felt something colder than ice behind herColder than ice, colder than snow... who could it be?!. She spun around and saw nothing, but the reflection of the light around the corner. But, soon, there was a menacing shadow."dun dun DUNNNNNNNH

The Best of this Sue-ish saga of wangst and bad eggsCollapse )
  • Current Music
    Gorecki- Lamb

I very first Sue profile!

Well, the time has finally come. Some author out there has discovered that there was acually more than one One. So, following their logic, that means that there could be another One, and it could -OMG- be, like, them!! Or their self-insert. Read on...

Story Or Series Title: Matrix: Recreated
Author's Name: Tweak McFreak

Full Name (plus titles if any): Raisa Ronning, otherwise known as Raisin. 
Full Species(es): A freed, and highly unintelligent human.
Special Possessions (if any): A precious laptop, which she is using to 'research' a rather shady character, who is trying to tell her something about the mysterious 'Matrix'. I think I have deja vu...

Annoying Origin: The Matrix, but just for some background info- she has a 38 year old blonde mother named Gene, and an Italian immigrant father named Giacomo. Yep. Because you really needed/wanted to know.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: None, there don't actually appear to be any canon characters in the whole fic, which is probably a good thing if we consider McFreak's powers of characterisation.
Annoying Special Abilities: None. She is utterly useless, but still manages to be chosen to be unplugged.
Other Annoying Traits: She is in a perpetual state of 'bewilderment' or 'awe'. Plus, she had no idea what the question was, it just popped into her head at the last minute. Oh, and she has green eyes. Grr.

The "Plot": Raisin is just an ordinary 14 year old girl, until she meets a boy she has been researching for several months, she discovers she could be the One in the seventh version of the Matrix!! Lyk OMG it could totally happen to me!!1!!11one!!
Best Line: "I was born in Zion, so I was never connected to the Matrix," Bullet explained quietly, what Raisin would discover later to be his normal voice.

Here we have- the worst of this story.

Totally unrelated to the rest of the story, but I had to share it. *sniggers*Collapse )

  • Current Mood
    blah blah

Toss another on the BBQ pit

Story Or Series Title: System Shutdown
Culprit Author's Name: Sp00ky

Full Name (plus titles if any): Trinity and Neo, although their ooc-ness should have a category all their own.
Full Species(es): Both are freed humans
Special Possessions (if any): A motorcycle of Lurrrrve

Annoying Origin: n/a
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: They are 'canon' characters, but this example is more like a canon Mary Sue
Annoying Special Abilities: Ability to have foreplay on a motorcycle.
Other Annoying Traits: n/a

The "Plot": Neo and Trinity do the horizontal mambo in the Matrix, because apparently, Agents wont kill people who are making sweet love on a motorbike. And Morpheus and Link are watching (sort of) *coughVoyeurscough* Then we find out that their similtaneous (of course) orgasms short circuit the Matrix, letting them free many people. Neo always was a multitasker.
Best Line: "He thought the two were in trouble, as did Morpheus, until the Captain peered more closely at the dripping green coding. Smirking, Morpheus reassured Link, "They're fine. Just making up for lost moments, is all." He said, cryptically, crossing his arms and heading back to the cockpit."

The 'Best' *snicker* of this storyCollapse )
  • Current Music
    Gorecki- Lamb
  • ken85

Spiky tequila-drenched dominatrix of much doom!

d^_^b: Hello and welcome to a do_ob production, my first MST to be exact. And now before we kick everything off, may I present my lovely co-host, Kaireen!

Kaireen: Hello~

do_ob: Now it’s time for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. We present, for your undoubted reading pleasure, “Behind the scenes: The character formally known as Rikuzaahn Mirhazaahd.” Just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?

CLICK HERE FOR FREE FUN!!!! ^_^Collapse )
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

The Day has Come! XD

(Cross-posted from my journal).

There's a new criteria for abuse over at

You can now report fics for mangling the English language. Not having a spellcheck won't save you now! *cackles*

And there was much rejoicing. *does the victory dance*